Want to hear a joke?

Q: Want to hear a dirty joke?
A: A white horse slipped in a mud puddle

Q: You're in the woods with three things in front of you: A bear, a jaguar and a lion. You have a gun but there's only one bullet left, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lion, drink the beer and drive home in the jaguar!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ipe!
Ipe who?

There was an English man a Chinese man and an Irish man who all went on a hot air balloon ride. As they hovered over England the englishman couldn't help but call out, "Oh my fine England!" With pride. As they hovered over Ireland the irishman also exclaimed, "Oh my fine Ireland!" The chinese man dropped a few plates overboard and shouted, "Oh my fine China!"

Three men went to go for a picnic up a hill. At the top the first man decided to throw an apple off the large hill and the second threw a banana. The third who wanted to be daring, threw down a grenade. On their way back down the hill they spotted a young girl crying and they asked her why she was crying and she answered with, "An apple knocked my father out!" The men decided to continue down the hill and they saw a little boy crying and they asked him why he was. His answer was, "A banana knocked out my mama!" Continuing on until they reached the bottom they spotted two children laughing and they asked them why they laughed to which they replied, "Dad farted and he blew up the house!"

Q: What do you call a man with no legs?
A: Neil.

Q: What do you call a man with a shovel?
A: Doug.

Q: What do you call a man without a shovel?
A: Douglas.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs and is floating in the water?
A: Bob.

Knock knock!
Go away!